Break My Heart

I haven't written in while...sorry about that.

Eric and I went into the recording studio tonight to work on a song we wrote a few months ago called "Break My Heart." I showed up, the day we wrote it, with the first two lines of the song. It was an idea I'd had one day while sitting at the stoplight at the corner of Lealand Ln. and Woodmont Blvd. I had no idea what the words meant or what direction we'd take the song. All I had was, "It's a little bit lonely standing where I am."

Anyway, the song turned out beautifully. It's the story of a broken dream. Sometimes my dreams seem so incredibly out of reach. And today was one of those extremely overwhelming days where you kinda forget what you're working for...and you wonder why you're trying so hard.

So it was appropriate that we pulled this song out of the closet tonight and brought it a little bit of life. It's not done. But I'm loving where it's going so I can't wait for you to hear it.

Break My Heart
Lindsey Jones/Eric Vinson

It's a little bit lonely
Standing where I am
Maybe never stood a chance
But gave it everything I had
What was once a dream
Is nothing but a hope
All I ever wanted
Felt so close

But why'd you have to break my heart
Why'd you have to break my heart

It's colder in the shadows
More painful in the dark
Scared of all the noises
But the door is locked
Could've knocked me to the ground
Hit me where it hurts
Anything but this
Would have been easier

Why'd you have to break my heart
Why'd you have to break my heart

Loopy

I cannot believe how fast time flies...and how much can change. Eight years ago my college girlfriends and I started making an annual trip to Aunt Loopy's house in Atlanta.

Eight years ago we were freshman in college. Now most of us are several years into marriages and starting to have kids...and we're well on our way to the careers we've been working so hard for. I don't have a husband or kids, but I do have a lot more life under my belt. It's just funny to think about the shifts in topics of conversation over the years. Relationships get deeper, circumstances get harder and successes become more rewarding.

My friend Nicolle started a blog called "The Flip Project." She is documenting the entire year - all 365 days of it - with videos. Here are the videos she made from this weekend at Loopy's.

65/365 from Nicolle Clawson on Vimeo.

64/365 from Nicolle Clawson on Vimeo.

You should check out Nicolle's "Flip Project" when you get a chance. You should also DEFINITELY have an "Aunt Loopy" weekend of your own. Gather your friends together, go away somewhere, get in your pajamas and talk, talk, talk.

I think the theme song for this weekend was John Mayer's "Say."

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say

Friends

Friends are my favorite kind of people on the planet. I never get sick of having them. Ever.

Tonight I had the pleasure of celebrating my friend Betsy's 26th birthday. I have known Betsy since she was 17. Our mutual friend Erin introduced us in October of 2001, the night our rival high schools played against each other in football. This was also the night that Betsy was crowned Homecoming Queen. And I was there to witness. I had no idea then what a good friend she'd become.

Betsy's party tonight got me thinking about how much I love people and how much I love making new friends. I have a ton of friends. But I genuinely love them all. Sometimes when I think about how much I love someone, it makes my heart hurt. I hope that never goes away. Isn't it great to know a person so well that you know when they are "just being who they are" - to know someone so well that you know exactly how to celebrate them?

I have friends that know me so well that they know what I need even before I do. And I have friends whose opinions I respect so much that I actually dread their opinions. What would I do if they told me something I didn't want to hear? I have friends who know things about me that I'd rather nobody knew. I also have friends that I avoid in hard spells of life because I know that they know that I know better. That's a lot of "knows" for one sentence. But it's good being known. And even better, there are people who know me and still love me.

As humans, we are bound to hurt one another whether we mean to or not. The people we love the most are the people who are the most capable of hurting us. But something in me needs to believe that I am loved and accepted by the important people in my life - and I want to believe the best about them. So I do. At least, I try my hardest. And I'm glad I do because I am surrounded by a lot of amazing people that make my life SO rich...and extremely colorful.

Tonight I made two new friends: one who is so passionate about what's going on in Haiti that he can't stand to be in the United States for one second longer, and one who used to be a pro golfer until he decided he couldn't take it anymore. Now he's a guitar tech in Nashville. Why not? I can't wait to see these guys again and hear how life is treating them. I also got to catch up with some old friends at Betsy's birthday party. Oh my gosh. I love them so much that my heart is going to explode. Ahh!!!

Friends. I do not want to know a life without them. So here's to more friends, more love, more hurt, more growth, more understanding...and more of whatever else friendships have to offer.

New Promo Shots for This & That

Eric and I needed some new promo shots for This & That. Lucky for us, Eric's wife (and my friend) Laura is a photographer. Here are a few of my favorites!

Giving Back Is The New Black

Some friends of mine, Kimberly Novosel, Carrie Hickman and Heather Trabucco started an organization called "Giving Back is the New Black." How awesome is that? Basically, it's an organization that shines a spotlight on other non-profits or people that are doing things that "Giving Back" believes in. These girls have beautiful hearts and an amazing vision to make a difference.

There is an official launch party for "Giving Back is the New Black," in Nashville on Thursday, Feb. 11th at 7pm. This & That is playing! If you're interested, let me know and I'll get you more information.

Kimberly asked me to tell her a bit about the work I do for the Songs of Love Foundation and they recently featured me on their website. You can check it out here.

Closing Out A Decade

I remember exactly what I was doing 10 years ago. My grandparents took my entire family on our first cruise. And somewhere in Ocho Rios, Jamaica I had some of those crazy braids put in my hair. I also had a crush on a boy who wouldn't date me because he'd read the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." In retrospect, thank you, Joshua Harris, for giving so many Christian men that crazy idea. About that time there had been all sorts of talk about Y2K. Wanna know something funny? I have a friend in Nashville whose dad actually wrote that book about Y2K. She has great stories about her dad at the end of 1999. He had built a bomb shelter of sorts, and stocked it with tons and tons and tons and tons of supplies. Not to mention the fact that their whole family was subjected to multiple practice drills in preparation for the big day. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for the gift of no practice drills and no bomb shelter.

We spent the actual eve of the Millenium in Mulberry, Kansas (the middle of nowhere in southeastern Kansas) with my dad's side of the family...and I believe my best friends Stacey and Sarah made the trip with us. I remember it was really fun. We danced. We did the limbo. And I still had those ridiculous braids in my hair.

I turned sixteen in 2000, so that was exciting 'cause I got to drive for the first time. I thought it was the end of the world (my own personal Y2K or 2012) when my parents made me wait over two WHOLE months to get my driver's license in May since my birthday is actually in March. I also remember really wanting a super cute, two door sports car. And I got stuck with the family Nissan Stanza (or as my brother called it, "the Stanz"). My mom told me all I needed to do was lock the back two doors and I'd have the two door car I'd always dreamed of. I'm envisioning myself having this same conversation with my daughter in twenty years.

I think Gwyenth Paltrow must have won an Oscar in 2000 (or maybe it was 1999), but she wore the most beautiful pink dress. I wanted it SO badly. Either we couldn't find it or I couldn't afford it. And my grandma ended up making it for me so that I could go to a dance with the boy who wouldn't date me.

I also remember wanting to be in Chamber singers SO badly (the top choir in my high school). Being accepted for my junior year would be tough since seniority would obviously go to the seniors. But one morning after the auditions, several screaming girls barged into my room and kidnapped me. I had to leave the house in my pajamas. And I was taken to a Chamber Singers initiation somewhere. Ahh. I was so excited. Such good memories!!!!

Why these are the things I remember about this year, I have no idea. But I want to make more of these good memories. I can't believe it's been ten years. I am such a different person now.

I had the best New Year's Eve I've ever had. I went to an actual grown-up party. And my friends were there. Friends from Kansas City and Nashville. The best of both worlds for me. I think it was the perfect way to kick off a year that will hopefully hold many more "firsts." I've never been one to write down my goals and dreams...and perhaps this is because I'm scared they won't come true. Or maybe it's because I'm not really sure what they are. But I am making it my goal to discover my goals. If I don't write them down I may never realize when they're accomplished. And then I may never be thankful for all the things that have come to be. And I want to be grateful. I am grateful. But I want to make a point to be more intentional about this...so...there's one goal.

Here's to another AMAZING decade.

Oh How The Years Go By...

I'll give you two guesses as to who might have inspired the title for this blog. Ok. Time is up. If you guessed Lady Gaga....




YOU WERE WRONG! It's Amy Grant, of course. I saw this card yesterday and it seemed like something my mom should buy for me. It's so appropriate. And if you really think about the different generations it makes sense. I've always said that my generation is extremely feeling and emotion driven...and my parent's generation seems to be much more no non-sense and success driven. They make decisions because they've thought about it. I make decisions because it feels right. They just seem to be a little more private. And I wear my heart on my sleeve. Or I just write a lot of songs. :)

Anyway, I loved this card. I wonder what my kids will be like.